Wednesday, August 26, 2015

On My Heart


{Disclaimer: I don't do posts like this very often. This post is just one where I'm just sitting down and dumping in total honesty...and its a blog post, not my journal! 
I do try to be honest every time I post, I just don't very often spill like this time. 
But sometimes, its the right time to let it all out. I feel that right now.}

So last week was just one of those weeks. The kind we've all had....

It started out so well, with a phenomenal young women's retreat that my sister hosted. I was at a wedding in Tennessee for the first day of the retreat, but after I got home I jumped right in and had such a wonderful time helping with food, details, + also sharing one of the sessions. It was a marvelous time.

The thing is, though, that every single time one of us or our whole family together does a big event or ministry project like this, there always seems to be this "crash" phase afterwards. If you've done any type of ministry project you know what I mean---its like this spiritual "high" during the event, and then afterwards the dust settles and you're left feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and like your cup is completely dried out.

That's how I was feeling by Tuesday afternoon. On top of all of that I was years behind on sleep + had a splitting headache that lasted (more or less) for the next three days, and all that definitely didn't help things. There was so much clean up to do from the retreat and I had moments wondering if our house was EVER going to look clean again. We also had a big concert we were frantically trying to prepare for on Friday night. Everyone's schedules were crazy with work + company + all sorts of things going on, and trying to find a time when we could all practice together was basically impossible. One morning as I left for town the guys reminded me that we had family practice at 1pm. They even had me repeat the time back to them to make sure I had heard it. And you guessed it, 1pm rolled around and I was at the checkout counter at a store when my phone rang. "Chels, we are all here in the living room with our instruments waiting...where are you?" I could've cried, I felt so irresponsible. I was thirty minutes away and here they were all waiting on me, just because I had forgotten. It may not sound like a big deal but on top of everything else it just seemed huge and I felt so FRIED.

A couple other big, hard things happened Thursday/Friday. I can't even go into it all here but suffice to say I just felt so discouraged. Life felt so dark. Honestly, it was just such a hard week, specifically weekend, and I felt like I had no energy left. I felt surrounded by darkness, and difficult circumstances, and pain, and discouragement.

But Jesus knew. He saw. He cared. And He gave me some of the most precious promises that weekend, in the way of encouragement through several messages I heard at a rally Friday night, and at my church's missions conference on Sunday. And He also sent a special encouragement to me through three songs. One He just brought to my heart randomly one day and I will be posting about that soon. The other two I heard on the radio on Sunday as I was driving back from church. The one in particular I've heard so many times before, but isn't it amazing how sometimes God can use something that is totally familiar to you, to come alive, just when you need it? It was the song WHOM SHALL I FEAR, and these lyrics just ministered to my heart so much:

You hear my when I call, You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night, It cannot hide the light
You crush the enemy underneath my feet, You are my sword and shield
 Though troubles linger still, Whom shall I fear 
I know Who goes before me, I know Who stands behind 
The God of angel armies is always by my side 
The One Who reigns forever, He is a friend of mine 
The God of angel armies is always by my side. 
My strength is in Your name, for You alone can save 
You will deliver me, Yours is the victory 
Whom shall I fear, Whom shall I fear 
And nothing formed against me shall stand, You hold the whole world in Your hands 
I'm holding on to Your promises, You are faithful, You are faithful.

I can't even begin to explain how these words were just what I needed. What a promise. The God of angel armies. ANGEL ARMIES. And this God is my FRIEND. The One who goes before me. Who stands behind. 
What a promise!

Go listen to the song here. I infinitely prefer this clip to the regular version of the song. 
(sorry, Chris Tomlin fans everywhere-his voice just isn't my fav) 
But this guy, David Wesley? I could listen to him ALL DAY. I've always been a sucker for good four-part harmony. There's just nothing like it.

"Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, 
that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain."
Philippians 2:16

This verse. And just thinking about how all things work together. The running, the labouring, the trials...none of this is in vain if we can learn the lessons needed and grow through these experiences. God has a plan in everything and He is with us through everything. 

And that's just a little on my heart right now. Like I said, I don't often do "dump posts", but today it was what I felt I needed to write. Maybe there's someone else out there who needs a little encouragement, and if the promises Jesus gave me can bless you, than I am thankful.

And never forget. He loves YOU, He cares, and He is by your side. 
-Chels

15 comments:

  1. thanks for always being transparent and vulnerable..appreciate it so much. <3

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  2. Yep I have stressful weeks like that all the all time
    -Todd

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  3. This is a good post. I am blessed to read it and it help me with a few friends here in Burlington that is going thru trails. I hope you will get rest and feeling yourself again. Can't wait to see you this Sunday.

    Jesse Rollins

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  4. Thank-you Chelsy for sharing this...that song you mentioned has really blessed me too! What a wonderful position we have in Christ, IN Him, and He in us! And to know that no matter what we face in life, Jesus is always there right by our side..."Whom shall I fear?" We can go on in this precious confidence.
    Love you Chels!
    Hugs, Joanna

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  5. Thank you Chels!
    I go through hard times such as that also. Isn't neat how thankful we are afterwards that God takes us through that. It is offen hard to have the right response, but you did.
    Here is what I learned last time God took me through a trial:
    Don't be self-centered. Think about Jesus, He was by no means focus on himself. Invest in the lives of others, Jesus is also the perfect example in that. Rejoice in the Lord and don't try to control things yourself.
    Here is a verse He gave me: Look not every man on his own things, but look also on the things of others. Philippians 2:4
    God bless!
    Laura

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  6. Hi Chelsy. Boy, can I EVER relate to all of what you are saying here. I even have had the thought to do a "dump post" on our blog too. Last week for me and the weekend, just like you said funny enough, was the hardest I've fallen in a LONG time. Just seemed like everything that I'd been facing the last two-three months just took over once this one big thing happened and I felt like I was doomed somehow, like I just could not shake the gloom. I felt utterly awful. Somehow I got out of the funk this week. Through song and understanding. Thank you SO so much for posting this I really needed to hear what you said.

    I WILLbe praying for you still. Even when we think we've gotten passed something, sometimes it tends to come back here and there and we forget about how we were able to deal with it all in the first place.

    The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace. Numbers 6:25,26


    Hugs,
    Cassie
    the elder sister and writer

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  7. Sometimes we all just need a good dump post too! I've had one of those weeks (or last several weeks) too. Just when I was feeling like all I needed was a low-key weekend at home, my husband and I were scheduled to go away and visit friends in another state. Little did I know that God intended to use those 13 hours in a car to refuel me with his word and purpose as my husband and I listed to some great sermons, music, and had some much needed deep conversation time. Keep holding fast to His Word through this season!!

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  8. Thanks for sharing your heart out to us this encourages me in my heart as well an uhmm thanks for putting down Chris hehe I think I've heard Dave wesily before an that song as I like it love it want some more of it hehe an ur blog has had glitch for the past 24 hours I'm finally able to comment because the comment box wouldn't load an then was an ad video chat for fonteir inernet but it gone now so yay to that an CAN U PLZ FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM my name is GODSLILCOWGIRL19982424 so plz do follow me thanks listening to someone u can reach cd right now in the blue ray player an the speaker vol is up to 11 hehe lov u guys so much listening to any road any coast love aillsons vioce in it an urs to hehe guys lov u guys an God bless you guys😉😋😎☺️

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  9. Thank you for sharing that beautiful song---it was a beautiful, encouraging way to begin my morning!

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  10. Thank-you Chels, for being so authentic and real-you are one in a thousand. So appreciate this! Love you lots.
    ~Pris

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  11. Chelsy, Thanks for posting. I know that feeling, been that way this week. What you shared was such an encouragement!
    ~Hannah K.

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  12. And sometimes, all we need to know is that we are not alone. Prayers & sweet blessings, Chelsy!
    ~Andrea T.

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  13. That song is one of my favorites! Thanks so much for being real, Chelsy! Those rough days remind us just how much we depend on God.
    I heard about the girls' retreat from my friend Bethany. It sounded like an amazing time! She really enjoyed it. :)

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  14. Oh girl! Been there, felt that. Thanks for being vulnerable and giving us a glimpse into your beautiful heart. And you go!! Two posts up almost side by side!? #proudofyou
    Sometimes I wonder why I still have my blog up. :) #neglectedso
    Thanks again for your thoughts, lovey!!
    Love you forever.
    Mwah.

    P.s. I still can't believe that I'm not going to be at Turning Hearts this year! What!? I'm coming to TH and Alli's retreat next year... #evenifihavetomovemountains #lordwilling ;)

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  15. So, after our discussion about blogs at Pizza Hut, I was curious to delve into and read your blog more. This post touched my heart. I've had many of the same experiences after a huge event or even a big business deal in my past career.
    I think we get too wrapped up in our own plan and don't stop to actually enjoy what God has given us. We also get so wrapped up in planning that we don't see His plan for us.
    By the way, this wasn't a "dump" post. It was you just being honest and speaking the truth when you were compelled to. As the Bible says, the truth sets us free.
    PS: Not being able to sleep because you drank too much tea stinks. Hence, my post at 1:42am.

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