The New Blogger Mama

(our little family on July 4th. See the last picture of this post to see that our son can smile =))

I've been thinking a lot lately about this platform and what exactly I want for it. There is so so much I always want to say, but I'm not a full-time blogger, and neither do I want to be one. I enjoy popping on here and posting about the things + people that I love, and topics that are close to my heart, but the first moment I start feeling pressure, or "falling behind", it just makes me want to lose my computer and forget that I have a little .com spot. I've been sorely tempted at times to just delete this blog, but somehow that just hasn't seemed the right thing to do.

With being a mama now, I find myself contemplating this all more than ever. In the past, I always liked to at least give a bit of a general recap about as much of my life as I could. Somewhat like an online journal of sorts. I hated the idea of months and months of time that somehow weren't documented here. Not sure why it bugged me so much, it just did. (I can tend to be a bit of an all or nothing personality!)

Now I am re-thinking that. And the one thing I've realized is this: this blog isn't a scrapbook. It isn't my entire life. (not by a long shot!) It isn't "everything summed up". And nor do I want it to be.

It is a little corner of occasional highlights, musings, and tools + tips. I might post about my son's birth story, but I might not post any pictures or details of the first four months of his life. I might write about a special little family vacation, and then I might never make mention of the equally fun and varied little trips here and there that happened during the same season. I might blog multiple times a month, and then you might not hear from me for months and months on end.  That's a snippet of what this blog will probably be in the coming days and years.

Also, I don't intend to exactly become a "mama blogger", but I am a mama now, so you might see more of that style on here than posts on singleness. Makes sense, yes?

In closing, I'm curious: who are you all? Wives? Mamas? Singles? I know many won't respond, and that's just fine, but as I post about different things on here, I would be curious on the life stages of my current readership. I know many of my followers are more recent (as in, the past several years) but some of you have "grown up" with me, so I imagine there may be more in my current life stage than I think.

Leave a comment below and let me know in a word or a few, what your "status" is! (note: commenting on here is super easy; literally will take about 60 seconds of your time! And I love hearing from you readers!)

(having one of his cousins make funny faces sure helped to produce the grins!)

Happy Wednesday! 

-Chels

Becoming Best Friends With Your Siblings

This header picture almost makes me a little sentimental, especially given the current season of my life. We were touring in Alaska this past summer and drove through this town, Kasilof, which we had visited last time we were in Alaska. I had to go back in my Alaska folder from 2013 and find the picture that I remembered taking there on the swing, this one, above. So many memories. So many great times, back when all ten of us kids traveled together. I'm so thankful for those years. Everything is changing now, in so many ways, and even though these are the happiest of days, times are surely and definitely changing from what they were.

Anyways...in celebration of those incredible days, and also in celebration of these different but equally incredible days, when our family is growing by leaps and bounds, I am posting this today, using this great four-year old picture for my header. =)

My siblings didn't become my best friends accidentally. It took work, and a lot of intentional parenting on the part of my father and mother. We did not used to be best friends when we were younger. We went to a church and were in a social circle where nearly everything was age-segregated. I was friends with only kids within twelve months of my age, and it was the same way for my siblings. That was just how we rolled.

Then I turned twelve, and around that time God did a huge work in my father's heart, and turned his heart toward me + my siblings. He (my father) sold his booming business, we switched churches, we switched mentalities and how we did made decisions, and within a few months almost every single aspect of life as I knew it, changed. That is another very long story for another time, but I have to say that much at least for y'all to understand the foundation of the change that happened in our lives. We seemed to lose most of our other friends and suddenly, siblings was what we had left. It was quite something. Definitely not the most comfortable or seamless change that ever occurred in my life. But absolutely one of the best ones. We started doing family parties, family camps, family outings, family everything. We were still very social but instead of all breaking off into our own little age-segregated groups, we started interacting + socializing with bigger groups, including lots + lots of other families. We learned to develop close friendships. You don't just wake up one day and ta da! You are best friends with someone. No. With ANY FRIENDSHIP it takes work, and effort. And it is no different with siblings.

The only way to forge a strong friendship is to invest work and time and energy into it. Relationships of any type take work. You can't expect something to just fall together and into place. You will get out of it whatever you are willing to put into it.

With siblings, you have to be intentional. If you are in a big family, you have to be even MORE intentional, because there are so many more people to connect with. Families that are tight have the most incredible times + memories ever. Just believe me. If you have a close family now, then you know exactly what I mean. (note: even if you don't have a close family now, make a commitment that with your future family, someday, you will make close relationships a priority) Anyways, there are even more relationships to tend when you have a big family. And with all those people there are different love languages, and temperaments, and all that. There are a lot of different elements happening! Siblings' needs vary also depending on their love language. For one, that "something special" might be writing a simple note and leaving it on their bed. The next sibling might need some quality time going out for ice cream or coffee. A different sibling might need a special gift. And the next one just a hug and a little snuggle time. It can be so different from person to person! What I want to encourage you to do is to learn your siblings' love languages and work on connecting with them in the ways that are most meaningful to each one. The main thing in relationships, after all, is being intentional and choosing to spend time and make the effort.

If you aren't close to your siblings and this just sounds overwhelming to you, then don't worry-take heart and resolve today that with the help of Jesus, you are going to turn your little boat around and do life a little differently to change your course! Start small. If you haven't been investing time into your sibling relationships and you aren't close to begin with, than don't expect that you'll start out with long heart to hearts and lots of love reciprocation! It's gonna take a little time to change the course and earn their trust. Also you may want to check out  "Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends". (read my full disclosure here) This book is the real deal and is so great for siblings who want practical tips on getting along with each other and developing close-knit relationships.

And then?

Run to Jesus for help. Cry out to Him for your siblings and for healing in your relationships. Don't try to do this on your own. You need Someone bigger than you to fight this battle with you! And it is a battle, absolutely-Satan loves nothing more than destroying families and its a lot harder to destroy a tight, close-knit family, than to come in and destroy a family that hates each other to begin with.

Recognize that you are a part of the problem. You won't get anywhere if you are thinking it's just your siblings that have the issues and the problems. It always takes two. If you don't have a good relationship, then you are partly to blame. And you'll have to realize this before you can proceed in a different direction.

Resolve to change. You're going to have to work at this, friend, and you've got to be willing to invest time and energy, as mentioned before. You might have to cut some other things out of your schedule to make time for your siblings. You might even have to take a break from some social aspects of other relationship to make more time to spend with your family. If you want a close relationship badly enough, you will be willing to sacrifice something to get it!

My sister and I collaborated and wrote a full article, last fall, on this subject of close sibling relationships. It was published in the Kings Blooming Rose. (a magazine written by a friend of mine, to encourage young women in living for Jesus) Today I am giving away three copies of the fall 2016 magazine, that features our article. Leave a comment with your name, to enter to win one! Winner will be announced here at the end of this post (added note) on Saturday morning, August 26th.

Also I would love to hear your thoughts/questions on this topic as well! What are some ways YOU have worked on your sibling relationships to become best friends with your siblings?

Have a beautiful rest of your week, my friends!

-Chels

Saturday morning note:

The three magazine copies (which include my sister + my article on sibling relationships) go to:

1) Delilah Penner

2) Sheila Martin

3) Bethany Clemmer

Congratulations ladies! 

Please send me an email with your mailing address and I will get those out to you!
chelsyrenee91@gmail.com

Thanks for all of you comments + participation!

The Beauty of Kindred Spirit Friendships

{above picture-my sister + I with five new kindred spirit friends we've just gotten to know this year. Love you girls!}

I'm so thankful for friends. They add such spice and beauty to life. God gives us friendships to show us an outpouring of His love, I think. The community and closeness that comes from my friends is such a blessing in my life, and I am so grateful for it. My siblings are obviously my closest friends, and the ones I hang out with the most (and I will be talking about that soon here!) but it is good and healthy to have other friends in addition to family, and today I want to talk to you about those "other friends" that you need to have in your lives.

You may be surprised to hear that I'm not really a social girl. I can have a good time in a crowd, but, at heart, I'm really more of an introvert that an extrovert, and I love quality time spent with...silence!

Enter tour life, ha!

I had to teach myself how to be sociable and enjoy time with lots of people. I had to learn how to enjoy being with hundreds of new people, everyday! The truth of the matter is, even introverts need and are blessed by the beauty of friends in their lives. You might be a social butterfly with thousands of IG followers + dozens upon dozens of "kindred spirits". You might be like me with hundreds of friends but a much smaller number with whom I stay in regular contact. Or you may be something in-between. Either way, no matter what your personality, I am here to tell you today that good friendships are important and needed in our lives. I believe very strongly that it is absolutely vital to have good friend circles, specifically with those that are the spurring onward, kindred spirit types.

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24

However, as with anything good, there is a downside to friendships. And that is that it is so easy to
A) get caught up in bad ones
B) spend too much time on friendships that don't benefit
C) lose sight of the importance of GOOD friendships

Friends will influence you. You will influence friends. And that influence (both ways) will either be good or bad. If you want to be making and receiving good influences, then you have to be intentional about that. It won't happen accidentally.

Life is too short to just go through and have all friendships just be one big party. Don't get me wrong-I love friends who can have fun and laugh lots because that's me too! But at the end of the day it's not the party that is going to count-it is where and how you INVESTED your friendships. Were you benefited and grown from the time spent in a friendship? Were you blessed and encouraged? Or was your time squandered?

We all, most likely, have friends in every "set" I'm going to describe here. And, contrary to what you might think, I personally am of the opinion that it is good to know people and rub shoulders with the different kinds in each of the categories listed below. If all your friends are kindred spirits, then chances are you aren't doing a whole lot of outreach. However, if all your friends are of the outreach type, then you are gonna get burned out in no time flat, and you are also going to be pulled down to the level of your "outreach" friends.

In friendships, it is very important to have a balance of giving/pouring out, and getting/coming in.

There are so many stories in the Bible about friendships. Daniel + his three friends. David + Jonathan. Naomi + Ruth. The list could go on. We can see in each of these stories how friendships not only strengthened and edified these people, but they were a means of furthering the gospel and giving us beautiful examples to follow.

"Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners." 1 Corinthians 15:33
*This is that friend who you maybe have known for years. Or maybe you've not known them long at all. Sometimes it is the friend to whom you have tried to reach out repeatedly and received a cold shoulder. This friend is more of an acquaintance. You often feel like when you are with them you are wasting your time. (note: this might be your fault, not theirs!) They are shallow and have no desire to "go deep", to really make a difference or even have conversations that matter. For me, I have found that most who fall into this category are the boy crazy, shopping crazy, movie crazy lot. I love movies and shopping as much as anybody. (boys, not so much, hehe!) But if those things are driving someone's life...than I'm probably not going to be getting much encouragement out of constantly hanging out with that friend. And chances are if they are consumed by those things, they aren't going to be very interested in intentional conversation anyways. We need to always be on the lookout for not allowing our lives to be overrun with these kinds of friends. They aren't true friends anyhow, and they're just going to drag you down. Hang out with people you want to become like.
"Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future." -unknown

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend...." Proverbs 27:6a
*This is that friend who is growing, who wants to learn, whom God places in your life (often just for a season) to encourage. These are mentorship type friendships and are absolutely vital as well. It is important to be giving and pouring out, in the same way that others (our mentors and/or kindred spirits) give out and pour into us. Don't ever let all that love just sit and pile up onto you---give it away again to others! Often this type of friendship occurs with those who are younger than you and needing advice/a listening ear from someone who is just a few years further on down the path of life. As I mentioned, sometimes these friendships are more seasonal/for a time, but sometimes they are friendships that turn into the kindred spirit type later on. Either way, you need some people like this in your life.

"Greater love hath no man than this, than a man lay down his life for his friend." John 15:13
*And finally, the kind of friend that this post is mainly about. This is the friend who has your back. Always. The friend whom you will send a text at a crazy hour to let them know that you need prayer, because you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that they will get on their knees and intercede for you. This is the friend whom you will drop everything to be with you in a time of need. This is the friend who just "gets you". The one with whom you can be serious and brutally honest. But also the one who has seen you in your craziest moments and loves you even when you're weird. This is the friend who is your spiritual hero; who spurs you onward spiritually. With this kind of friend, your conversation can be broad and varied but will always be coming back to praying for and challenging one another in the Lord. Always. Your closest friends must be this kind.
If you want to grow more like Jesus in your friendships, you have to surround yourself with these influences who are also know Jesus and are actively seeking to serve Him with their lives.

Now, some of you are asking, "But I don't know people like that! How can I have close friends like this when I don't even know anybody who fits in that last category?"

First of all, ask Jesus to send you friends like this. Second of all, don't just expect them to land on your doorstep dropped from a hot air ballon. You have to be friendly, open, available, and you have to go places. Be a social person! Even if you are an introvert. Get out of your shell and your house and find some people somewhere. =) Host events at your home. Find a good church/s to attend. (I have several friends who attend one church on Sunday but throughout the week attend Bible studies at other churches that have strong groups of godly young people attending) I'm not including links today, but it is amazing how many Christian family/fellowship/etc networking groups there are these days! It isn't nearly as hard to meet good friends as it used to be. Yes, godliness is becoming less and less, but there are still people out there who love Jesus and want to meet others who love Him too.
Note. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, God gave us family first, and they are amazing friends. And it is also important to have friends of all ages. But it is ALSO good to have strong Christian friends in your own stage of life. 

Well, this has gotten waaay longer than I intended! (would you believe me if I said I wrote half of this in October of 2015 and the rest of it today? #truth) There's much more I could say, like how important it is to have strong sibling relationships, or strong friendships with older people, or strong + good friendships with guys...but I will save those thoughts for another time, and close with a little wisdom from the Anne girl, who had some great thoughts on friendship + the importance of it. =)

"Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. 

It's splendid to find out that there are so many of them in the world." -Anne of Green Gables

I would love to hear how each of you build + invest in your friendships! 

-Chels

When Your Younger Siblings Get Married First {An Older Sister's Perspective}

This post isn't what you might be thinking it will be. If you want a sob story post of the older sister who is wallowing in depression with her three baby brothers getting married before her, well, wrong stop here. =) This is a post of so much hope and happiness that I'm thinking a little of the love might just rub off onto y'all after reading it! I've been sitting on this post for EVER (I was waiting til all three were engaged because, well, that just would make it quite legit) and am so excited to finally share it!

It has actually been something on my heart for years. Call it sister intuition, or whatever, but for so long already I have expected to have my younger siblings get married first. Probably partially because they were always mature for their ages, whereas it took me a little longer to grow up, and then partially just because I really thought it would end out this way. It never bothered me; on the contrary, I was ecstatic for it. I prayed for it. For the last several years, in particular (as they've been getting older) it has been one of the greatest cries of my heart---for my brothers to find and have peace about the right girl with which to spend the rest of their lives. I was totally thrilled with the thought that they would probably "go" before me. It didn't bother me in the slightest, rather, it was my chief wish and dream that my brothers would get married first. At the time I started more seriously praying for them (in my early twenties, when they were getting to the age where they could get married) I knew that there were no guys I was interested in, and at the time I honestly had no desire to get married, with other things in my life that I was focusing on. The thought of wanting my brothers to wait until I was ready and married first, never even crossed my mind.

And here we are. The boys all started relationships in the fall of 2016, (Mitchell in August, Josh in September, and Carson in October) and now all three of them are getting married this fall, 2017. It was all so God, the timing of everything. Recently a friend told us that a rumor is going around our home community that my Dad "finally allowed his boys to get married". That story got the loudest howls of laughter you can imagine, around our dinner table! Without going into the whole long stories of their lives the past five years, let me just tell you that the reason my brothers are all getting married now, virtually at the same time, has nothing to do with planning it all perfectly, or the timing being just what they would've picked, or any of that. For everyone of you who knows their stories, and for me, their oldest sister, we can only say, "the hand of Jesus was all over those stories, and the timing was perfect, because it was ALL JESUS."

Last fall, when all of this was beginning, Allison was living in Mexico, and I was at home, trying to keep all three of these brother lovebirds on the straight and narrow, haha. And you know what? It was, and continues to be, one of the happiest times of my life.
I vividly remember one October Sunday, when all three girlfriends were over for dinner. I texted Allison pictures and said something like this: "Sister of mine...from my place at the kitchen window, washing dishes, I can faintly hear Mitchell + Bryn chatting in the schoolroom, I see Josh and Cassidy swinging and talking on the swings in the front yard, and Carson and Carolina are deep in conversation, still at the dinner table, the only ones left there. ALLI! God is so good! I might just sit down and cry from sheer happiness! How are we so blessed? So much answered prayer! So much grace and beauty poured down from Jesus!!"

For my sister and I, it wasn't hard. People asked us if it was. (hashtag most asked question ever!)
I felt like I should have some big response thought out, but all I wanted to say, every time, was, "How could I be anything but happy at so much answered prayer? At so much beautiful young love? At so much joy? How could I be anything BUT the happiest girl in the world when Jesus gives such good gifts to my best friends---these brothers of mine?"

All these questions, and this constant expectation for my sister and I to be knee-deep in depression over the situation, got me to thinking about something.

A) Why is it expected to be hard for an older sister if her younger siblings get married first?
B) Why do we allow those expectations to be the norm?
and
C) What needs to happen for them NOT to be the norm?

I don't claim to have all the answers. I'm quite new to this whole business, having never had any siblings married up to this point. All I know is what I know as a girl who fiercely loves her brothers and is more happy than should be legal, about their upcoming weddings. =)
And as such, I have a few thoughts that I'd like to share from my heart, to whoever is reading this.

The first thing that comes to my mind as a foundation for setting a new "normal" is close-knit sibling relationships. If your siblings are your best friends, your closest confidants, your greatest blessing...than why would you feel anything but joy for them when God brings along their life partner?

The second is the answering of prayer. When there is something that has been such a big part of your heart and life and prayer list for so long (aka godly girls for the brothers) your first thought, when God answers, is "glory hallelujah!" Am I right? After all, this is how we respond to every other answered prayer, so why not the same to this one?

The third thing I think of, is a subject I have touched on before, and will continue to talk about in the future, and that is joy in the current journey. When you find joy right where God has you, and desire God's perfect best + timing for all of your life (marriage just being a drop in the bucket of God's gifts) and the lives of those you love, then when He answers those prayers and brings your favorite people together, it is so amazing. 

Why do we put God in such a box? Why do we think everything has to happen in order? Why do we think it is fair, and right, and "how it should be", for kids to get married in age order? It is so bizarre, if you actually think about it, and it basically never happens that way anyway!

My answer to this is that I think we put God in this box of "our perfect timing" because we think we know best. We think that we know how it all should be. I really have no idea why we think this; in every other area of our lives we would say God knows best. (at least I'd hope we would!) So why not in this area of one of the most important decisions of our lives? Why wouldn't God know best on this one, too? And if we know He knows best, why would we not be absolutely delighted with His timing and plan? Not only for us, but for all of the people we love, also? Regardless of age.

Honestly, age has nothing to do with it. If people could just get that idea out of the way, it would be a much better world. (can I get an amen from from the single readers here?) One of my beautiful sister-in-laws-to-be is nineteen. I could not be happier for her and my brother. She is an absolute gem, and one of my heroes. God's perfect time for her to get married is now, when she is young! I sure wasn't ready when I was nineteen, and I'm relieved that I didn't get married then, because if I would've it would've been disaster. But that was me. It wasn't God's time for me then. It is God's time for her now. See, it is all about timing and following the Spirit, and nothing about age or situation.

Yes, my brothers are getting married first.
Yes, as most people think and say, we "went" (as in relationship/marriage timing) topsy turvy and all "out of order".
Yes, it has been the most wild and beautiful past nine months that you could imagine.
Yes, it is going to be an incredible fall. Hey, not just every girl gets to gain three sisters within 24 hours!! Talk about party time, overtime! (cue all the confetti + heart eyes) I still can't believe it!

No, it isn't hard, and no, it isn't a struggle. God has answered my prayers and given my brothers these gifts-these three incredible women-that I prayed for. It is the most beautiful thing to watch God answer prayer in such exceedingly abundant ways. My heart is filled with so much happiness!

"I will worship toward Thy holy temple, 

and praise Thy name for Thy lovingkindness and for Thy truth:

 for Thou hast magnified Thy word above all Thy name."

-Psalm 138:2

Please feel free to share this post wherever, simply linking back to my blog. 

I feel very passionately that this is a subject that needs to be talked about in our generation!

And as always, I would love to hear from y'all. 

Thoughts, questions, comments? Leave them below!

-Chels

{Note: My sister Allison also did a post along this same vein, over on her blog. Read it here!}

A Bell Sleeve Pattern + God's Bigger Picture

I've been finding in my life that God delights in working through the non-ordinary. I've also been realizing that He has little lessons prepared for me in literally EVERY area of my life, if I just am in tune with Him and watching for them. 

Last December, He taught me a very powerful lesson through a bell sleeve pattern, of all things. I started this post in February and here it is now, just a little while later. =) I feel like for some reason, this timing of posting this now is perfect, and that there is someone out there reading this that needs this truth in their lives today. TAKE HEART that God has got your life in His hands. This truth impacted my perspective in such a huge way, that it is my HOPE that it can do the same for yours. It doesn't matter how big or small your trial is, or how unique to you-I want you to know that GOD CARES and that He has a bigger picture in mind.

At the time of this particular sewing project, I was going through the greatest struggle of my twenty-four years of life. I was dealing with major trust issues (both with God + with several people in my life) and I literally felt like things were spiraling out of control. It was one of the first times in my life that I felt I was deeply invested with a situation, deeply affected by the results, and yet completely and totally out of control with the entire thing.

I needed this lesson. Jesus in His grace knew that and sent me this truth at the perfect time, to strengthen my faith and remind me that He cared more than anyone else could.

It was a cold December afternoon. I was knee deep in fabric, frantically trying to meet a looming deadline and sew two new costumes for our church's annual Live Animal Christmas Play. (why is it every time I sew something I am behind and frantic? Agh!) 

Here I was again, with little time to spare and no extra time for something to go wrong. I was combining and tweaking patterns which required extra time and major extra mental capacities which I felt were seriously lacking. 

But when it came to this sleeve I determined to follow instructions. I knew better (from past failures) than to attempt to throw a sleeve together without a concise plan in mind. 

I've sewn sleeves before. Many times. The first time I tried making up my own pattern and cutting out the fabric how I thought a sleeve should look. 

I can hear all you fellow sewers of sleeves laughing. I know, how ludicrous. Can we just say EPIC FAIL for that first sleeve project those years ago?! =) 

Needless to say I learned my lesson. And since, even though I love veering from the patterns and combining ideas and coming up with my own, I always (and I mean ALWAYS) make sure to *mostly* stick to whatever sleeve pattern I am using. No more cutting out my own ideas. The pattern makers know best in the sleeve arena!

I've always been infatuated with bell sleeves. They're just so awesome-I love the flow of the extra fabric and the regal feeling I always get when I'm wearing a top or dress with sleeves like this.

I was very excited about this pattern and sewing these dresses for several reasons, one of which was that I was combining multiple patterns (and that always excites me because then its kinda original with me!) but also because I had only sewn short sleeve and sleeveless styles before, and hadn't previously done long sleeves. 

I laid the sleeve pattern out and began to cut. It looked crazy for sure but being a seamstress who has sewn a lot, I have learned by now that sleeves, more than any other part of a sewing project, look totally not like a sleeve when they are first cut out! It doesn't matter if its a cap sleeve, or half sleeve, or long sleeve...the pattern piece (before sewing) just doesn't resemble a sleeve at all.

I was pinning along (see above picture) and had just finished cutting out the first bell sleeve, when my youngest sister Rebecca walked through the room. She came over to observe my progress and asked, naturally, "So what part is that supposed to be?" 

Me: "Its the sleeve, Rebs!"

Her: "Wait. The SLEEVE? Are you sure, Chels? There's no way that's a sleeve! It doesn't look even close to a sleeve!! I think you are wrong!" =)

I smiled at the thought of her giving me sewing advice. =) As I opened my mouth to answer her, it was like Jesus gave me this lesson on the spot. I began to explain: "Yes, it's a sleeve, honey! I know it doesn't look like it now, but its gonna be the most beautiful sleeve you can imagine, and when it's all finished, it won't look anything like what you are looking at now. See, a sleeve doesn't start out looking like a sleeve. In order to get that beautiful bell shape, I have to cut out something that looks very different. I have to follow the pattern. If I follow that pattern, this sleeve will turn out looking just like what its supposed to look like, and it will fit me perfectly. But I have to stick to the pattern for that to happen. So even though it looks really strange right now, I know for SURE that it will look like a perfect sleeve if I just keep going with the pattern. And you know something, Rebecca? Life is the very same way. Often what Jesus tells us to do doesn't make sense. We think 'this isn't what I had in mind! This isn't what my life is supposed to look like!' There are going to be times when this will happen to you. But don't worry about how things look at the time. You can know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that JESUS made the pattern (His Word) and listening to it and His still small voice will get you successfully through whatever you might go through! The circumstances and results will very well look completely opposite to what you were wanting. But trust the Designer-He put the time and thought into this pattern (your life) and He has a beautiful sleeve (story) just waiting at the end, if you will just trust and obey, no matter what!"

I'm not sure how much of the lesson she retained, but I continued to mull on this after she left, and in the weeks to come...

Does the pattern always make sense? Ha, NO. Not in the slightest.

So why do I still choose to follow it?

Because I have seen the picture on the cover of the pattern, and I know that that picture's costume was sewn directly by following the instructions of the pattern. I know that no matter how "unlike" it my current piece of fabric may look, the maker of the pattern knew what they were doing and had a very definite plan in mind. And I KNOW that if I follow that plan, I will get a sleeve exactly like the one on the cover of the pattern.

Why do I still choose to follow God's Word and listen to His voice even when it looks like everything is falling apart and there is no possible good ending? 

Because I have seen His Word. I have seen it change lives. I have seen it change my life. I know that it is real and alive and LIVING. I know that Jesus is real. I have heard His voice. He gave me pattern instructions and even though it went against everything that I felt like doing...obeying that "pattern" of His voice is always the greatest decision I could make. No, I might not understand. I very well might feel like making up my own and not following His. And I might not even get the chance to see the fully "finished product" of that circumstance, for years to come. But following it will always yield the sweetest results, in the end.

From my heart to yours, I am praying that Jesus would use this to touch whatever heart or hearts are needing this reminder today-that although your trial looks like a sleeve pattern to you, and you think "how in the WORLD could anything positive and beautiful come from this distorted shape?"yet Jesus looks at your "sleeve pattern" story from a heavenly perspective. He sees the beautiful picture of what can be, what will be, if you continue to follow the pattern. He knows that the final product will look beautiful, and intricate, and amazing, if you are faithful to follow HIS design. Don't take that scissors and cut out what YOU think looks like a bell sleeve. Just keep following that pattern. Don't stray from it. The person who created that original sleeve pattern? They knew what they were doing. They measured + analyzed + planned out that bell sleeve pattern, right down to the smallest measurements. Everything was prepared for a beautifully finished product, IF the pattern will be followed. 

"That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, 

though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory 

at the appearing of Jesus Christ: 

Whom having not seen, ye love; in Whom, though now ye see Him not, 

yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory."

1 Peter 1:7+8

This is the story of life. Stay strong. Keep going even when you don't understand.
Don't veer from God's pattern. His instructions are the best every time.

-Chels

When Life Appears Peachy (but it really isn't)

It was a cold Sunday morning, last December.

My week had been rough. Actually, kind of beyond rough. My world felt about as upside down and inside out as possible, and basically no one knew. It was a pretty low point and I was really struggling.

But it was Sunday morning. And it wasn't going to help anyone to wear my life on my face, so I pulled myself together as I knew I needed to, and headed to church. I spent the hour prior to church as normal, helping my pastor's wife get her babies all ready and to church, and I finally slid into a seat in my class's room just as announcements were starting.

Our Bible fellowship class always start out with prayer requests and announcements. Someone asked if there were any prayer requests. All was silent...no one said anything. I was such a mess with my own internal struggle that I was halfways tuned out and not paying a whole lot of attention to what was going on around me anyways.

Our leader got up to give the lesson. He looked at us and smiled as he said, "Well, its great to know that everyone's life is so peachy that there are no prayer requests!"

There were a few looks exchanged, and half-hearted laughs, and I could literally feel the vibe around that table, and I knew I wasn't the only one, that was thinking "My life? Peachy? Not a chance! If only you KNEW."

His statement stunned me. At that moment reality hit me between the eyes. Hard. I was out of my fog and in the zone immediately. I could think of a whole lot of descriptions for my current circumstances in life but peachy was not even close. I realized, "People have NO CLUE."

And then I got to thinking. If I had all this stuff in my life, and nobody knew, and I was faking everyone so well in concealing pain that I had...then for all I knew everyone else in my class was at the same place.

That hit me hard too. Really? It rocked my world to think about this. Who knew the pain of the girl sitting next to me? Who knew the monumental decision facing the guy across the table? Who knew the stories of their struggle of current living and just doing life? Surviving?
Probably no one...just like no one knew about me.

I thought about this a lot that morning during our class, and I continued to think about it in the coming weeks. It struck me so greatly that I started a blog post about it (this) and I'm finishing + posting it now, five months later.

This experience made me think about several things.
First of all, it made me realize yet again that just because someone looks perfect and like they have it all together, doesn't mean they are and do.
Secondly, it showed me how important it is to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. If I sense Jesus wanting me to talk to someone, or send a note or text of encouragement, or just take a minute to stop and pray for someone, I need to do that RIGHT AWAY, even if I have no idea what they are going through. Because chances are very good Jesus put them on my heart for a reason, and they are going through something of which I may have no idea.

It was funny; I had already been thinking for a while about this concept of being more sensitive to the Spirit's leading. I had seen several situations in my life where just a simple text to let someone know I was praying for them, had been just at the time when they needed encouragement, even though I didn't know that beforehand.

But this experience in my class in December got me thinking about it even more. "How many people are going through life, putting a smile on their face + stuffing the pain, and nobody takes time to ask them how they are REALLY doing, because they assume that because they look perfect and like they have it all together, that everything in their life is peachy?"

I was so convicted at this! It is so easy for me to go through life and forget that there are also other people out there who may be going through things of which I have no idea. Some personalities are more open + honest about their struggles, but there are many people (like me) who often just stuff everything inside and wear a smile, trying to make it through without other people knowing what is really going on. There are pros and cons to each side, obviously---there is a time when honesty + openness are very good, and other times when one has to just learn to deal with things and move on. The whole world doesn't always need to know of our struggles. At the same time, it isn't a good idea to always keep everything bottled up and put forth this facade of perfection.

I honestly didn't used to write posts like this. For much of my life I have felt like I could be more effective by "having it all together" and being as "godly" as possible. I struggled with bondage from feeling like I had to be a good example; like I had to look good, regardless of what I was actually experiencing or feeling.

Don't get me wrong, I am still striving for godliness. But more than having a beautiful, picture-perfect life, more than having it all together, more than any of that...I just want to be used in my brokenness. This life is not about perfection. It's not about giving an impression of a perfect life. It's about being REAL. Real with Jesus, and real with people.

I feel like as Jesus is showing me freedom in some of these areas, that there is a need for me to be more open + honest. I struggle with life at times just like anybody else. I have so many flaws it's really quite humbling! I feel sometimes as though I am a kindergardener in the school of life, instead of being a twenty-something year old who you would think should have a lot more of life figured out by now. But even in this very humbling and broken state, my heart is to be honest and share as I'm learning. Not when I have arrived, or reached a state of "perfection" in the areas I write about. But I need to write when I am "in the midst", because that is when the true testing happens, and where the heart is the most vulnerable. That is when we can push each other on to new heights in the Lord...when the fire is hot and our hearts are being tested.

I hope something said here can challenge someone else in the area of being open to the Holy Spirit and reaching out to people in your life, even if it looks like those people's lives are perfect and "peachy". For all you know, there are layers of hurt and pain hidden beneath the smile, and that person you spend time with today may be in desperate need of someone to say a kind word or a prayer and just give them a little extra Jesus.

Just because they are putting on a smile and "looking the part" doesn't mean their life is peachy perfect.

 Listen to the Spirit. Reach out. You just might make a difference bigger than you know.

-Chels

Why I Wear What I Wear

Calling all ladies! Today, you're getting the lowdown on my clothing standards! So exciting!
(ha, NOT!)

In all honesty, yes, this is what I'm talking about here today. But its the nitty gritty-the stuff all we girls deal with. So not really that exciting. Just to clarify. =)

It never ceases to amaze me how people are so interested in what I choose to wear. So many times I just want to say "Please, just go home and ask God what He wants YOU to wear. What's it to you what I wear?"

But the truth remains that this is a very real struggle in our culture. Women who follow Christ want to dress in a way that honors and glorifies Him and Him alone. And sometimes, navigating those waters of standards and convictions can be rough.

I know, I've been there.

So today, I want to talk to you girls as an older sister. Pull up your chair, and imagine that we're having a little chat together. With coffee, of course. And cream in the coffee. And both the coffee and cream in a big oversized mug that fits like four cups of coffee/cream mixture.
Now we're all set! =)

First of all, I don't have all the answers. Not even close-goodness, no. I mess up, and I make mistakes,  and I'm right there with you wading through the racks at the store and having those times when I get discouraged.

To be totally honest, I even have my moments where I think, "Eve had it SO EASY back before there was sin. She didn't even have to worry about modesty at all!"

Seriously, can you imagine? How nice would that be? Just...no clothes. No worries if it was not enough, or two much, or whatever. No agonizing over if a neckline was too low or pants were too tight if you didn't have any of that to begin with. She just didn't have to think about any of it. What a life!

Okay, okay, I digress....Moving on!! (hehe)

If you are looking for a formula, you will be disappointed in my answer today. Because the answer isn't measured in inches, or fittings, or lengths, or types. It isn't measured in tight or loose. It isn't measured in pants vs skirts, or shorts vs pants, or skinny vs baggy, or high vs low, or any of that.

That is just not the point.

The answer is found in knowing the Word of God, and in knowing the God of the Word.

Here's the deal. Whether you like it or not, what you wear matters. Your clothing is the first impression someone gets of you. (scary thought, that!)
Before you have a chance to say anything, your clothing has already made a statement about the kind of person you are. And if you are a child of Jesus Christ, than you're gonna need to be dressing a little different from everyone else. You are set apart. You are PRECIOUS in His sight. And you are DIFFERENT.

I'm a lover of quotes on this subject. I've found some great ones that I want to share with you:

"My fellow women of the world: 'Put on some clothes. You want men to give you the time of day? Leave a little up to the imagination, and respect yourself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the beholder is anyone you want it to be'."

"If Cinderella didn't need to take off her dress to get the prince, then neither do you." 

"Modest is not something to be ashamed of. It is strength, not weakness." 

"What you wear is your billboard. So...what are you advertising?"

"Dress how you want to be ADDRESSED."

Aren't those amazing? I would highly encourage you to write down one or more of them and tape them up on your bathroom/bedroom mirror, or wherever you get ready for the day each day. We all need good reminders like these!

I understand that this modesty thing is easier said than done. We live in a culture where everyone wants to tell everyone else what to wear. You know what I mean---it's either that super legalistic friend who tells you she "can't be friends" unless you start dressing "like a real Christian" (as she puts it), or its that left-wing aunt who tells you that you need to "stop being so frumpy and always wearing gunny sacks".
Honestly, thank goodness we aren't in this to please people because it's just about IMPOSSIBLE! Let me say that again-it IS impossible. Everyone either thinks you are too liberal or too conservative. Once in a blue moon someone recognizes the  beauty and class in true modest dress and tells you so, but those moments are rare and if you're living for the affirmation in those you will be sadly disappointed because they don't happen very often.

Quick commercial break here though...I have to tell y'all the story of how this actually DID happen the other night. My sister was telling me about how a guy at work told her that he appreciated that she dressed modestly and beautifully. I must admit I flipped out and said "Allison! Who was this man? Is he brother-in-law material?!?!" to which she rolled her eyes and responded, 
"Chels, he was like FORTY!" 
Bummer. 
Obviously I totally agree that she dress modestly and beautifully but it's not every day that someone else TELLS you that! And a man at that! I wish it wasn't so rare but honestly it is and when I heard that a GUY told her that I was extremely impressed. And wanting him for a bro-in-law. Except that he was forty. So I guess not after all. (sniffle)
End of randomly inserted story. =)

Girls, we can't listen to the sources that want to dictate our wardrobes, whether negative or positive. Those dress codes and rules and "it has to be this length and this size to be modest"?
Those lists were all written and directed and planned by humans who are just as liable to fail and be wrong as anybody else. Also, remember that we aren't called to answer to a church or an organization, for our dress standards. We are called to answer to the ONE who designed modesty, the One who loves us more than anyone else ever could, and the One who is waiting and willing to guide each of us in our quest for godliness in our dress.

Quick note here to the few guys who were brave enough to read this post.
You might think it's weird to tell a girl that you appreciate how she dresses. Well, it's not weird. It is a BLESSING to us women, and we love you for it! Well maybe not literally. But you get the point. You have no idea how much it means.
 I'll never forget a few years ago when I was at a conference and one of the young men stood up during sharing time and publicly addressed all of the young women who were attending the conference. He specifically thanked us for dressing modestly and said how much he appreciated being at a conference where he didn't have to be constantly adverting his eyes. He probably didn't think anymore about his comment afterwards, but let me tell you that I KNOW I'm not the only girl who still remembers and greatly respects that guy for sharing that, even though it was 4-5 years ago. It was such an encouragement to know that there are still a handful of guys out there who not only notice but who care and appreciate the work it takes to dress in a godly way.

And it is work. It is definitely the path less chosen, and the harder of the two options. It takes time, and courage, and hard work! But it is infinitely worth it.

We've got to get back to the place where the only basis for our life, the only basis for where we stand, how we stand, and WHY we stand, and what we do and subsequently wear, is JESUS CHRIST and HIS WORD.

That's it. No minus, no plus, NO ADDITIONS. Just you and God and seeking His face.

I said it before, and I'll say it again-I don't have the answers. There are different clothing items that, to be honest, I'm not sure about. I wear what I wear based on personal standards that the Lord has led me to, and also certain family standards that my family has, and that I have chosen to honor as long as I am living at home. I find that, as with anything, it is very dangerous to get to a place where we think we have it all figured out, where we think we "have arrived" and know the perfect "dress code". I feel right now like I know less than I ever did! Except for one thing, and that one thing is that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God does care about this area of my life, and that He will be faithful to guide me if I diligently seek His face and His truth.

At the end of the day, I want more than anything else to be able to say, "I stood firm on Jesus Christ and His Word and the truth that He showed me."
This is not only the area of modesty, but also in every other area of my life.

I love each of you girls. That is why I am sharing this with you. My heart's cry is for every woman reading this to find true joy in serving Jesus in every area of her life, including through her clothing, because it is a service to Him! 

I view my wardrobe as an act of worship. After all, if it glorifies Jesus, that is worship, right? Right! 

God's Word has so much to say about this. My favorite verse on this subject is found in Corinthians:

"What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, 

which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price:

 therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." 

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Most importantly, we can't forget that the heart of modesty really has nothing at all to do with actual clothing, but it is all about having the FEAR OF THE LORD and the Holy Spirit living within us:

"Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30

I'll end on a light note, with a favorite quote that is funny, but really quite sobering when you stop and think about it: 

"Dressing immodestly is like rolling around in manure. 

                                  Yes, you'll get attention...but mostly from pigs."

You don't want that, honey. Pigs Boys like that aren't worth your time. Jesus created you for SO MUCH MORE. 

So step out of your box. Be different. Be set apart. Choose the royalty and dignity and glory that is fitting for a daughter of the Most High King.

And that is why I wear what I wear!

 I'm praying that each of you will commit to seeking Him in this area of modesty, and that you will be blown away by His faithfulness in showing you what He wants you to wear!

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! 

And. Be back this weekend for a super exciting guest post 

and giveaway of an amazing book on modesty!

-Chels

Why I'm Thankful for Dirty Fingernails

This might be one of my most glamorous blog header shots ever, friends. =)

In reality, it is maybe one of my most realistic header shots ever.

This is Life 101 on a working farm. The dirt you see this time is mud. But it could be a number of other things...

This picture came from a rainy Saturday morning spent weeding + hoeing in one of our flower beds. I was soaked + filthy by the time I was finished. But let me tell you-it was the best feeling ever.

Accomplishment. Fulfillment. Satisfaction of a job done well.

There's nothing quite like that feeling of knowing that your hard work has paid off in a beautiful finished product. It didn't take the flip of a switch, or the click of a mouse, to accomplish this. It took getting out of bed, getting out there Saturday morning, in the mud, in the rain, and working hard. I was worn out when I was done, but it was such a good feeling.

As I was cleaning up later on to leave the house, I had to laugh at my hands. I may now have been dressed up, and had my hair + makeup done, but my fingernails were a dead-giveaway for my lifestyle. There were purple/red stains all around and under my nails from the red beets I had canned prior in the week. There were dirt stains, still visible even though I had washed/scrubbed. If tomato juice stained then I would have had a good coating of that from the pizza sauce I had canned earlier that week as well. (Sorry, Jamberry's...there's not a chance you would last on these fingers!)

I would have it no other way. Dirty fingernails=hard work here. Just thinking about this all made me reflect on how thankful I am to have grown up in a home where it wasn't a disgrace to have dirty hands. It was an honor.

Dirty hands, dirty clothes, dirty shoes...those things meant mud + manure + weeds + briars. Calloused hands meant hands that knew the blessing + satisfaction of manual labor. Blisters were not a shame. They were a badge that said "hard work produced this".

Life is not all about work. I understand that. I know that there can be a downfall to the "hard work=success" mentality, and there is, and it's something that I have had to fight against, because there can be a tendency to find your ultimate fulfillment + acceptance in how hard you work, in how much you accomplish, instead of in the things that matter most.

However, that is how it is with most good things in life---taken out of context, they can be a problem. One day I might do a post about that.

But for today? I'm thankful for the dirty nails, and the tough hands, because for me today they mean the ability to work, the love of work, and the joy in work. They also mean food on the table, and provision in so many practical ways.

And I'm really grateful for that.

This quote is so good. (and the picture is hilarious, ha!)  I couldn't agree more. 

Y'all have a wonderful evening!

-Chels

Life Lessons From the Calf Pen

You wouldn't think it maybe, but I am pretty sure that some of life's greatest lessons can be learned living on a farm. Its a simple country life...but there are such rich truths that come out in just the everyday nitty gritty of living on a farm + working with animals.

One of my first farm chores as a child was feeding our baby calves with my younger brother. We were just big enough to manage the bottles and I remember such feelings of satisfaction knowing that because of our work, those little calves had full tummies. At the tender ages of seven and six, we had such a sense of accomplishment and achievement knowing that we were doing our part to make this farm run.

In the recent years, I haven't been involved as much with the animals on our farm. But I still love filling in for my brothers occasionally with the calf chores. Last fall I took over for a month so they could spend every possible minute preparing for the national Bible Bee. It was such fun to do again...I loved it. 

It just so happened that over this time we had quite a few new baby calves that were born. For those of you farmers reading this, you know about this!

But for everyone else I will explain. 

Getting a newborn baby calf to latch on to the bottle can be a pretty difficult job. Every calf is different, some more stubborn than others, but most will fight this new thing that is being forced into their little mouths. 

There was one particular morning that I was dealing with an exceptionally stubborn baby calf. Try as I might, I could just not convince this calf to take the bottle. It just wanted nothing to do with me or the bottle. 

Now, I knew it was starving hungry, and that it both needed and wanted the milk. The problem was, it didn't realize that the source for its comfort was in this strange contraption I was trying to force into its mouth.

I took the nipple and squirted some warm milk towards the calf's mouth. The poor little baby about went crazy---jerking its head this way and that, trying to find the source of that delicious nourishment. But every time i would bring the nipple up to its mouth, it would shove away, as if determined to find the milk source on its own.

We had a full-fledged battle, baby calf + I. You would think I would have been the easy winner, but this little calf was fully as stubborn as I was and bent on doing everything BUT what I was trying to make it do---drink that milk!

After quite the little battle, I was the winner and the calf finally latched on and started drinking. 

And this all made me think....

You know, I am such a baby calf sometimes. Sometimes I am just so sure that I know what I need to grow. I am the calf, and God is holding the "bottle" of my life. The bottle is that lesson, or character quality, or that something particular that He knows I need to learn in order to GROW. And the only way for me to grow + get the milk, is to latch on to His bottle! He knows that I need this milk in order to grow in life. He has my best interests at heart + He knows that learning this milk is vital to my spiritual growth.

And me? Oh yes, I am definitely wanting the milk. Absolutely! I want spiritual growth in my life. I want God's blessings + instruction. But too often I don't realize that the milk is coming from the bottle. I am so sure that I can find the source for the milk on my own. Even though He is so gently and surely trying to guide + show me, I resist, wanting to find the "milk" my way. 

And so I shove away, and try to make my own way, my own plan. 

And every single time, I just end up hungry, and frustrated, and unhappy, because my way wasn't best, after all, and His was. All along He was there waiting for me, and I was pushing + shoving trying to run my life how I thought it should be, instead of trusting that even though it didn't make sense, His way was the best choice.

What about you? Can you identify with this? Do you struggle too at times with living life like this baby calf?

Next time you + I are tempted to go with our own agenda, may we will remember this baby calf, and its little story of struggle, and be reminded that God's way is best, after all!

-Chels

Prison Ministry||On My Heart

I have no pictures. No "visible proof" of what happened last night.
But that's okay. I have what is in my heart, and that is all that counts.
And because this blog is, very simply, a reflection of the things on my heart, I will dig in deep and share with you, in words, about my God Who is still in the business of healing and freeing the souls of men and women. My God Who specializes in REDEMPTION. My God Who so gently shows me how very ungrateful I often am, and how much I really have.

Last night I had the privilege of representing this ministry and going with my family into a women's prison here in Montgomery, Alabama. We had not been to this particular prison in three years, and we were so excited when we heard that it was on "our list" for this year, as it is one of our favorites. =)

Every year I think I understand. I think I understand what I have, how blessed I am, and all of that. And yet every year without fail I have to fight falling apart when I get up in front of that room full of women. Now, you have to understand that I am not an emotional person. At all. I have a very strong personality, and qualities like gentleness and compassion are ones that I have to work on daily. They do not come very naturally for me.
I honestly only cry about once a year. And that once a year is the night I sing in a women's prison. Being in prison and seeing so much pain up close and personal like that, gets to my heart like nothing else. It breaks me and touches the deepest parts of my heart.

Our first song was "Almighty God". I've always loved this song but last night it hit me in a whole new way when we got to the second verse:

"Well time marches on, with the innocence gone, 
and the darkness still covers the earth,
But His Spirit still dwells, and He speaks 'IT IS WELL' 
and the hopeless still offered new birth,
He will break the leash of death, it will have no sting,
 let the prisoner go free, join the dance and sing!"

As I was singing those words and looking out over that crowd of prisoners the message hit me like a ton of bricks:

INNOCENCE GONE   
DARKNESS STILL COVERS THE EARTH
HIS SPIRIT STILL DWELLS
HOPELESS STILL OFFERED NEW BIRTH
HE WILL BREAK THE LEASH OF DEATH
LET THE PRISONER GO FREE
JOIN THE DANCE AND SING

then the tears began to come, as I thought of how exactly this verse applied to the lives of these women. It was obvious just by looking at their faces that some had experienced that new birth. but there were also faces that were covered in darkness, spiritually speaking. there were those that were bound by the leash of death, and then there were those that had broken free and were literally fitting right into the dancing and singing category. =)
Trying to sing and keep from sobbing at the same time wasn't easy, especially when I could hear my sister and mother's voices quivering as well and I knew that they were having the same struggle I was. And then came the chorus again:

"Almighty most holy God, faithful through the ages,
Almighty most holy LORD, glorious, almighty God."

and I was awed anew at the thought that this ALMIGHTY GOD has placed me in the world's best family, given me a beautiful life, saved my soul, and blessed me in every way imaginable. I deserve no different than any of those prisoners. My sin is just as great as theirs. I could have so easily been one of them, BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD.
Just thinking of all this was overwhelming.

later, I sat back along the side and observed their faces as my little siblings sang for them. I cried just watching them. There were women who were shaking with laughter one minute at Rebecca's expressions, and sobbing into multiple tissues the next. The pain and joy mixed on their faces was so raw, so deep. I watched them just drink in the sight and sound of little faces and voices, and then I saw their cutting pain as they remembered that they had once had this joy of children but had lost it because of the decisions they had made, that had gotten them to the place that they were at.

As I played the invitation hymn I watched the women getting out of their seats and coming down the aisle to get saved. I could hear them praying and weeping as they knelt all around the front and cried out to Jesus. I felt the peace that just settled like a mist over that whole front area. I saw the joy in their faces when they got up and returned to their seats. I really can't describe it, but it is the most amazing thing to watch.

After we got back and were eating dinner with the other volunteers and singing groups, one of the volunteers told us he wanted to meet with our family. As we gathered around he began to read a letter to our family. It was a letter he had been given earlier in the day, by an inmate who came to our service at his prison three years ago. In the letter the inmate told us how he had always stayed away from God/Christian services and things like that, but that particular night that we came to his prison he decided to come out. In his letter, he told us how God had used Rebecca to touch his heart and show him his need for a savior. He told us how he got saved that night, and how he still reads his Bible every day and is living strong for Jesus.

touching lives like this-it is so worth it. so worth the homesickness, the little petty trifles that I have to give up to be on the road. I think I sacrifice? My sacrifice is nothing. Just thinking how Jesus sacrificed so that I CAN KNOW HIM, puts it all into perspective and I see how blessed I am to just be in His service.

Honestly there is no place I'd rather be this week. Prison ministry has been one of the greatest blessings in my life and I am eternally grateful to my Jesus for showing me His heart for these prisoners, and giving me the opportunity to share His truth with them.
The joy it gives me is indescribable, and I am so grateful.

-chels

Home/Singleness/Productivity||Q&A

{photo courtesy of HannahElisePhotography}

Today's post is going to be answering a few more of the questions I received from

this post back in September.

First off, just as a little disclaimer-

I so do not have the perfect answers to all of these. I do not have it "all together" (not even close!)

and some days I wonder what in the world I'm doing even running a blog, period? 

All that said...y'all asked, so you can take or leave the advice of a very simple twenty-two year old girl who still has a lot to learn in life. =)

What you do with your life post school?

this answer could be a book. =) but time is limited.

*work as my father's personal secretary doing all the secretary work for our family ministry. 

this includes processing and mailing all cd orders, answering/sending all emails, booking concerts through email, researching various church websites and venues, getting all concert dates to our webmaster, mailing letters and promotional materials to every concert venue two months prior to the concert, restocking cd/book inventory in the bus before every trip, and working with our photographer and graphic designers for every new photo shoot, album, poster, prayer card, and business cards.

*teach piano to three of my siblings.

*travel with my family half of the year, giving concerts all over the US and Canada.

*study photography and do it on the side as a business.

*create/remake/design clothing for myself, my sisters, and others.

*sing in the choir and volunteer with various other jobs and ministries at my church.

*travel with Bright Lights when I can. 

(which was none last year. =( and just a week this year. I love it when I am able though!)

*make lunch every day for my family

*do all of the laundry for my family

*feed our baby calves every morning

*maintain my blog.

Advice in helping other young girls in the church community?

Your example is the #1 thing. 

As older young women we cannot over emphasize the power of our influence.

It's actually quite frightening, if you actually think about it.

Like when you see a younger girl imitate your hairstyle or something else unique to you and it just really hits you "Wow. She got that from me! What else is she picking up on?"

 You would not believe the things younger girls notice.

Our attitude, response to different situations, conversation, and definitely our dress, 

are all things they  catch onto so quickly.

Make sure that the person you are is someone you would want to see imitated. 

Because if you have younger girls in your life, chances are you will be seeing yourself in a miniature before too long, as they copy and emulate you.

Ideas/advice/encouragement in living life as a single woman to the fullest?

get involved in serving. some way, some how. 

no matter where you live or what you do, there is ALWAYS, and always will be, a need for more people with a servant's heart. 

every single community has either a nursing home, or a homeless shelter, or lonely neighbors, or all of the above.

there will always be the need.

the problem is that many people aren't answering the call to give of themselves and fill that need.

For me right now, God has me busy pretty much full time just serving the needs of my family and church. And that is great.

But if I didn't have either of those outlets, there would still be so many other ways/areas to serve in my community.

Think outside of the box. Get a passion for something beyond yourself, something you can do to 

impact other people for Christ.

Advice for living life at home as an adult?

This can be a great thing or it can be a horrible thing.

What's really unfortunate about the whole topic is that there is this crowd of homeschoolers out there that has almost ruined the reputation of us "still-at-home-after-highschool" ers.

When I say ruined our reputation, I mean ruined the way people as a whole think about young people living at home/not going away to the typical 4yr degree, secular college deal.

They've almost ruined it because there is a large number of graduated girls (and guys, but we're just talking about the girls here so I won't get started on the guy problem)

who do nothing but wash laundry, make dinner, and browse the web.

Now, I'm not saying those things are bad. (I do each of them!)

But if that's all you're doing there is a serious problem.

I've seen way too many girls who have done that.

You will look back years later and realize that you have wasted your single years of life pining away, sitting in your house, accomplishing nothing.

We do not live just to subsist! We live to thrive! To be doing things, going places, making a difference!

Now, I'm not saying you can never have a day at home.

I'm saying that you need to find ways to be productive.

Get out and meet people.

-Organize a get-together for your neighbors. 

(Our family loves doing this, although we haven't done it for quite a while! one of my friends' family recently did a very fun activity with their neighbors-read about it here!)

-Volunteer at a local nursing home.

(another friend of mine did this. The staff noticed her joy, love, and genuine heart for the residents...and they offered her a staff position as the activities directer!=))

-Learn valuable skills

(do this. sewing, cooking, first aid, drama, art, jewelry making, photography, fitness, web design, music, interior design, calligraphy, hair design, film. the list could go on and on, but you get the idea. My parents always pushed my sister and I to excel in the areas we loved and were passionate about. We've worked hard on those and at one time we were each running multiple businesses that we had started on our own, based on skills we had cultivated. Due to our increased traveling and us both working for our family ministry now, we have had to cut back a bit on our personal work. But that's okay! Someday if I'm in a totally different stage of life and wanting a part-time job to do on the side, I will easily be able to resume my piano studio, or give more sewing lessons, or things like that.) 

Do not believe the lie that you have to go to college to be successful. 

Because it is just that-a lie.

I don't have time now but if I did I could go on and on and ON listing people I know who are super successful, who didn't even make it past 8th grade. I've seen way too many success stories come from "uneducated" people, to believe the hype that's out there about the "necessity" of having a degree.

From what I've observed, the following things are way more important than a degree.

-love for God

-love for people

-good social/people skills

-a love of learning, literature, and reading (this is vital!)

-a good work ethic

If you have those five things you will be just fine without a degree, and you will also be about $100,000 dollars richer. =)

Also don't buy the argument of "well, what if my husband dies someday and I need to work full-time to support my family?"

Trust me, if you've cultivated some of the skills listed at the top, and you have those "five things" I talked about, you will have no problem providing for your family.

Now, I am not saying college in and of itself is bad. Not at all. I have lots of friends who are in college, with a vision and a purpose and a plan. They know what they're going for, they are studying hard to finish, and they work through the summer to pay their tuition. 

What frustrates me is that there are so many people who go just because its the "expected thing". 

they go with no purpose whatsoever.

And the percentage of people who get a degree and end up doing something totally unrelated to the degree, for the rest of their lives...well, the percentage is high.

I know I'm getting into stuff here that isn't really related to the question, but it all does kinda tie in when you consider everything involved.

When you choose to stay at home, you will get lots of criticism, from both well-meaning people, and from people whose main goal is to make you look stupid. 

(trust me-I've been at home post school for 5yrs and I've heard it ALL)

You need to have a good, solid, intelligent answer when people ask you "so what do you do at home all day, since you're not going to college?"

They want to hear "welll....I'm helping my mom...and making supper...and I do all the laundry!"

That will convince them that their daughters are so much more well-prepared for the "real" world, than you are.

(note: cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry are all excellent accomplishments and I don't want to slight them because our calling as women is caring for the home. but those things should be learned by the time you are twelve. once you are out of high school, you should easily be doing those things every day as well as practicing ministry, building skills, and being involved in church/community projects, etc)  

I love to watch people's expression when they ask me the "what do you do" question

and I give them my answer. 

Usually I don't even go into everything I do. I just have to list a few things 

(ie. listed at the top of this post)

 and they usually tell me "wow, I guess you are really busy!" =) 

I understand that we're not here for approval of man, but at the same time our lives need to be a good witness. 

A good testimony. 

We want the world to look at us and see something different. 

Something that's vibrant and alive and WORKING.

Slowly but surely, people are understanding that just because someone went to college and got a 4yr degree...doesn't mean they know how to work hard. It doesn't mean they automatically are successful.

People are starting to realize that there is a problem with the way "everyone does it".

We have an awesome opportunity to give them the answer to that problem!

"And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy HEART, and with all thy SOUL, and with all thy MIND, and with all thy STRENGTH."

Mark 12:30

This verse is what I'm talking about! We need a heart that loves people, a soul that is sensitive to need and hurt, a mind that is sharp, honest, and filled with truth, and the strength and energy to work hard both physically and spiritually.

So... my biggest advice for those of you living at home post-school:

 be involved in things. be productive, busy, happy, energetic. do things in your community. in your area. in your world! 

study. read. discuss. disciple. make a difference.

Along these lines, a book that is highly beneficial in this area is "Preparing to Be A Helpmeet".

 I've never recommended this book here on my blog before because there are a couple things in it that I definitely don't agree with. 

But for the sake of the part of it that is really, really good, 

I'm giving a little endorsement, 

without totally endorsing it. (if that makes sense =))

On the topic of the importance of preparing yourself, and spending your single years wisely, this book is the best I have read. So many books on this subject don't deal with the problem in a practical way.

But this book is all about honesty and practical application.

(if you know anything about Debi Pearl, you know that blunt truth is her specialty! =))

Again, I'm not saying I agree with everything in the book. So don't read it and be shocked if you find something that you don't think I would agree with. Cause chances are, I don't. =)

But for sake of the topic above, I really wish all girls could read it, and apply the truth to their years at home.

I'll end with one of my favorite quotes of all time, that really sums it all up:

"Wherever you are, be all there!"

-Jim Elliot

Anyway, that's it for today. I'd love to hear thoughts back from y'all!
-chels