Friday, October 11, 2013

Of Blonde Moments & My Ultimate Cooking Failure

To preface this post, I have to first say that my normal kitchen endevours are, 
at least in general, successful.
As in.....edible.
I am not characterized by the following type story.
But everyone has their days, right?
This story actually happened quite a while ago.
I've had the pictures loaded and I'd written the story out in my mind, just never got around to posting it til now.
This mistake was large enough to last me for several years, at the least.
I hear you all saying "on with the story, please!" so here goes!
My Perfect Cooking Disaster
It was a lonely Saturday night, two years ago.
(okay, not lonely-it was just Saturday =))
We had planned a big dinner with our home church fellowship the following day, after church.
I was in charge of the dessert and had decided on one of our favorites, berry trifle.
{layered pudding, chocolate cake, and berry filling}
It was 10pm and I wanted to go to bed but I still had to make the pudding. 
So I began.
I've made pudding literally dozens and dozens of times.
Boil milk.
mix flour, cornstarch, eggs, sugar, & a little more milk. 
Pour that mixture into the boiling milk and stir constantly til thick.
Pretty basic, eh?
So you would think.
I started the process just like I'd done it so many times before.
The milk began to boil, so I added the other mixture and began to stir.
And stir.
And stir.
It usually takes about 3-4minutes to thicken.
Well, those minutes passed and there was absolutely NO thickening going on.
There was other stuff happening, though. 
My pudding began to expand.
This was weird-definitely not normal.
The kettle originally had been able 1/3 full and by now it was almost ready to overflow.
One of my brothers was passing through the kitchen and I yelled to him 
"Come HELP me please!"
He came flying over and grabbed me another kettle.
I poured half of my mixture into the second kettle and told him to stir.
(if the pudding mixture isn't stirred constantly while cooking, it will get lumpy. Info for all you non-pudding experts out there)
He started stirring the second kettle, and I continued stirring the first one.
Soon both of our kettles began to overflow again.
Out came a THIRD kettle, and we dumped our excess into THAT kettle.
So by now I am stirring two different batches (one with each hand) and he is stirring another batch.
And I was getting upset.
Because not only was this stuff not thickening..
and not only was it majorly multiplying...
but it tasted HORRIBLE.
Imagine the worst and you'll be half right.
it was THAT bad. Just disgusting.
NEVER had this happened to me before.
I don't have flops happen too often, and I'd definitely never had this kind.
I reviewed my ingredient list.
But everything I had added was legit-there were no crazy ingredients.
Just milk.eggs.flour.cornstarch.sugar.
How not weird are those?
As I was very loudly proclaiming all this to everyone within earshot, an anonymous sibling walked into the room, looking as guilty as guilty could be.
Sister anonymous sibling:"Um, Chels? I think I might know the problem".
Me:"WHAT??!! Tell me quickly! Before I totally flood this kitchen!!"
sister sibling: "Well...its like, I was refilling the baking soda container today and...uh...I think I might've accidentally put the baking soda into the cornstarch container."
That would explain it.
No wonder I had stuff expanding like nobody's business.
Brother helped me carry it all out and dump it in the ditch.
Pretty sure even the cats wouldn't have eaten it.
I made another batch (with true cornstarch this time) and it turned out beautifully and we ate it for lunch the next day and we all lived happily ever after.
the end!

{btw. hannah is having a pretty awesome giveaway over on her blog. Check it out here!!}


  1. Congrats on missing failure of one of your goals by two minutes! ;-) Now you can take a deep breath... relax. Oh, and great story by the way!

  2. Oh my, that would've been so confusing! (And hilarious, AFTER the fact lol)
    When I was little, I did the same with flour and confectioner's sugar. Let's just say my mother was very confused by the taste of her whipped cream ;)
    Great story!

  3. Oh...I just had to smile at the "How not weird are those?" ;) heehee! So glad it worked out in the end!

  4. Cool story. I've had crazy stuff happen to me in the kitchen, too. :)

  5. Oh my! That would be so weird!! We thought it was bad when we had the disaster of mexican casserole with brownie mix instead of refried beans!! =D

  6. You are a great story writer but an even better story teller. I'm glad I got to hear that one in person! I am soo enjoying all of your posts! Keep up the good work!

  7. Oh, that is funny. I am glad to hear it wasn't really your fault. You know, cooking mistakes can make some great memories! Ha! Ha!
    I believe baking soda has been the embarrassing cause of many a cook's mistake.
    We sure do learn from those, don't we?
    Once I made blueberry muffins and after the time in the oven, they hadn't cooked at all! It was still batter. I had no idea what could be wrong. My sister grinned and said,"It might work better if you'd turn the oven on." How could I forget? I always turn the oven on first, always.

    Your stories are entertaining. Rebecca

  8. LOL! i love the way you tell your stories :)
    I have accidentally put cornstarch in pancakes instead of baking powder....they were kinda flat :)
    Have a great Sunday!!

  9. Oh my word....I'm so glad that I'm not alone in the one in a while kitchen disaster department lol =)
    Loved the story and had to laugh at the "how not weird are those?"

    Love ya!


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