It is so hard to believe that Gigi is gone. We’ve been preparing ourselves for this and knowing it was coming as her health has been declining slowly over the past half year, but she was as alert and sweet as usual, right up until the very end. She passed away peacefully in her home on Saturday evening, December 14th, surrounded by her two daughters.
Gigi was so much more to me than just my husband's grandma. As I was reflecting over how much she meant to me, after she died, I told John that she really felt more like a bonus mother figure, a mentor, and a confidant. I don’t think I have ever met someone who was so supportive, so caring, so loving, and so genuine. She always had time for people and was the best conversationalist, constantly asking questions and taking interest in others.
As John said at her funeral, she was a peacemaker. She didn’t like to stir the pot and she loved when people were in harmony and getting along. She did tell John, shortly before she died: “I have strong opinions about things, I just don’t usually share them.” That was Gigi! I’m sure there were many times she shook her head about various situations in the family, and then quietly prayed about them instead of complaining or getting involved.
Time spent with Gigi was always graced by her laugh, her kindness, and her questions. She kept track of everything going on in the family and was always interested in hearing more about family happenings, trips, milestones, etc. From the very beginning, when I married John, she was very interested in my family and background and would constantly be asking me questions about my childhood, family traditions, or our visits back to Iowa.
She stayed very connected with everyone on the photo stream sharing we do as an extended Maxwell family, and then at in-person visits she loved to ask questions about various pictures we posted, to get “more of the story”.
She was so so proud of my husband. Over and over she would tell me, “I know you know this, but John is just so gifted at…” and then fill in the blank with something he had done recently that reminded her of yet another skill of his. I was always very happy to brag on him extra much and tell her stories of his various accomplishments or projects. She loved getting the inside scoop on his adventures! She would always end her praise by saying something like, “he is just a pretty special guy.” And multiple times she told me the story about how he told her, before he met me, that he’d just "have to find the right girl". She said, “John has just always been an extra special guy who we all knew would need an extra special girl”, and then she would follow that up by saying, “and he found that when he found you!”
I always felt like Gigi was my biggest cheerleader. From the very first time I met her (my first visit to John when we were dating) she was 100% supportive and enthusiastic of us. I remember sitting on her couch and thinking “this lady is SO sweet!” Not gonna lie, the process of winning over most of the rest of the fam took quite a bit more time and effort! Having Gigi just so happy and excited right off the bat was pretty cool. It was also always so precious to me to see the special spot that John had in her heart.
Last February, February 2024, was the first valentines since my grandma Bontrager was gone. A special tradition that my sister and I had loved was getting flowers for our grandma on various Valentine’s Days. This past year I was feeling really sad about not being able to do that. And then as the kids and I were planning and delivering our various valentines gifts to various family and friends, I realized, I could do valentines flowers for Gigi! So we delivered a little bouquet of roses to her, and I told her how thankful I was to still have a grandma and an opportunity to say that I loved her. We both cried; it was a sweet moment I’ll never forget.
One of Gigi's last big social events was a gradation/birthday party combo in May-the whole family was together and celebrated her birthday and the college graduation of several of the siblings. She took a turn after that and although she continued to live on her own right up until the week of her death, it was a slow and steady decline from there until her passing. We were blessed to be able to visit her lots over the past months and to be able to say goodbye and bless her for her impact in our lives.
I am thankful that every day I get to experience a little bit of her legacy through my husband. I had shared her obituary with a friend right before Christmas, and after reading it my friend (who had never met Gigi) said “so that’s where John gets his caring heart-from his grandma!” What a big compliment. It is so true; my husband has that same heart and value for people and relationships, just like Gigi had!
Christmas night John pulled out a new book he had gotten for the kids and passed out candy canes for them to eat while he read the story to them. This was a tradition that his granddad used to do with the grandchildren-read the same story each Christmas while the grandchildren ate their candy canes. I teared up as I snapped a picture because typically, I would take both a picture and a video and then text them to Gigi and tell her yet another story of granddads memory living on, through his grandson, to his great grandchildren. I did this so many times when John would tell one of his childhood memory stories to the kids at bedtime, or just tell them stories in general about granddad and Gigi. Her responses would always be so happy and enthusiastic-she LOVED hearing about how her grandchildren were continuing traditions and stories with their kids, and how they so often remembered the good times they had with granddad, growing up.
The circle of life goes on. December was so different for our little family with adding a new baby, losing our beloved Gigi, and celebrating Christmas with her funeral right in the middle of our family get-togethers. So many emotions of joy, sadness, and everything in between. I am thankful for all the pictures and memories we have of our time w Gigi. They are so precious. She was able to see Watson three times in the week and a half that their lives overlapped. My heart is so full to have those memories of him with his great grandma.
I am so blessed to have known Gigi; my life was definitely touched in so many ways by her prayers, her humor, and her kindness to me and countless others. She leaves a huge hole that we will feel forever, but also a beautiful legacy that we will strive to carry on.
I'll end this post with a handful of my favorite pictures of Gigi from the past 5-6 years.
The kids and I with Gigi at the family's annual Memorial Day visit to the cemetery, this past summer.
I think this picture was taken sometime early this year; John and I had been out on a date and ended up with about half an hour extra before we had told our babysitter we would be home. I suggested we pop in for a visit with Gigi, so we did, and had such a great time with her. Moments and pictures like this I will treasure always!
What a beautiful tribute to Gigi! I am a follower of the Maxwell's blog from the very first post and I saw Gigi live out many of the things you mentioned in her daily interactions with family. I know her loss is deeply felt by all but I join you in joyfully knowing she is with the Savior she loved and served so well! (And thank you for posting this Chelsy, it's so nice to be able to catch up on Maxwell life through you and your sweet family). ~Trish Hisle
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss! I enjoyed hearing about Gigi; I'm glad you have so many good memories of her, and that your children got to meet her too.
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice tribute. Condolences.
ReplyDeleteI never had the pleasure of meeting GiGi but over the years following along on the blog she just seemed like a huge light no matter how I may have felt about other things. I'm certain she blessed everyone that was lucky enough to have her in their life.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the loss of GiGi and your grandmother.
Also congrats on the newest addition to your family.
FWIW I see the same light in you when I see a picture.
I am sorry for your loss! What a treasure to have so many good memories with your Gigi. We no longer have living grandparents on either side and I know what you mean about thinking "oh I should send my grandma this picture" before remembering. Thinking of you all and wishing you peace!
ReplyDeleteI am indeed blessed to have met her and for being a recipient of her kindness.
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